Dear Jethro,

I really like this one girl, but i am not sure if I should ask her out. I am afraid to ask her because I don’t want it to ruin or make our friendship. I feel like we would not talk anymore if she said no. I don’t know what to do because I am head overs heels for her. I think about her everyday.

Sincerely,
Head Over Heels

Dear Head Over Heels,

Your situation is one that we have all experienced at one point. Experiencing nervousness, or “butterflies” around this person is completely normal, but you shouldn’t allow this anxiousness to hinder you from making a move on her. If you can’t fight this feeling anymore, then follow these easy steps to getting the girl of your dreams:

1. Establish a connection

Based on your letter, you two seem to be friends already. But if you weren’t friends yet, I would suggest establishing a connection by forming a friendship first. Physical attraction can only go so far.

2. Find out if she is single

As friends, you two will talk about many subjects, one of which is relationship status. Find out whether or not she is already in a relationship. If she already has a partner and you continue to pursue her, things may become quite awkward and uncomfortable for the both of you.

3. Flirt subtly

If you find out that she is single, make small attempts to flirt with her and show her you want more than a friendship. A prolonged touch on the shoulder or longer held eye contact are subtle ways of letting her know of your intentions.

4. Take it a step further

If the subtle flirtations evoke a positive response, then take it a step further by giving her compliments and going the extra mile by helping her out whenever she needs help with something or walking her to class. Note that when you compliment her, don’t just give a generic compliment (eg. You look pretty today). Name something about her that you like. This shows that you pay attention to details, and she’ll appreciate the compliment even more (eg. I like the way you did your hair today.)

5. Tell her/Show her how you feel

If you’ve been successful with her so far, then plan on telling her how you feel to see if she wants to be in a relationship with you. You should know her pretty well by now. Using that knowledge, plan the best way to tell her how you feel. If she likes poetry, write her a romantic poem. If she likes music, write her a song, or serenade her with her favorite song. Every girl is different, so use caution as you may receive different reactions. No matter what happens though, she’ll appreciate you for being direct even if she rejects you. If she does, do not fret as it simply wasn’t meant to be and you have the opportunity to find someone else.

As you follow these 5 easy steps to getting your dream girl, note that if she ever shows signs that she may not like you or she finds you too forward or creepy, stop right away. You need to respect her wishes, and it may be a sign that you two won’t be compatible. In the end, you still have many years to find someone, and you will meet many more people beyond high school. Until then, good luck!

Sincerely,

Jethro

Dear Jethro,

My girlfriend cheated on me. What do I do? 

-Betrayed

Dear Betrayed,

What happened to you is tragic, and it has happened to many of us. Despite this tragedy, there is some good that came out of it. If your ex-girlfriend couldn’t stay faithful to you, she probably wasn’t worth it to begin with. Sure, you may be hurt right now because the scars are still fresh, but you’ll soon get over it and find someone new. My advice for you will be the same as the one I gave to Heartbroken (click to read my advice for Heartbroken). In addition to that, I think you should confront her about what she did and how it made you feel. There is a saying that goes, “Once a cheater, always a cheater”, and your confrontation with her can possibly prevent this from happening in the future. I wish you the best and hope you find someone in the future who will be faithful to you.

Sincerely,

Jethro