Ask Jethro: Traditional and Troubled

Jethro Punzalan, Advice Columnist

Dear Jethro,
I am very traditional and was raised by Catholic parents who are even more so.
I struggle in school when issues of homosexuality come up because I am usually the only one who does not fully support the topic. People call me homophobic and ignorant even though I have no hatred towards anyone who identifies as homosexual. I believe that all people should be treated with kindness regardless of sexual orientation, but simply hold different views because of my religious beliefs. My beliefs are important to me and it offends me when people mock my religion and ridicule me for having such beliefs. I feel unaccepted by my peers because of my religious beliefs and wish that they could just agree to disagree. I would never view another person as more sinful than I just because they identify as homosexual, yet so many people feel that I am unfairly judging others and putting myself on a pedestal. What can I do to help people understand that my religion is important to me and the beliefs I have should be respected and not be used as a base for false claims about me?

Sincerely,
Traditional and Troubled

 

Dear Traditional and Troubled,

I understand where you’re coming from. You’re basically saying that everyone is entitled to their own opinion and as long as it doesn’t harm anyone, then there shouldn’t be a problem. However, in our modern day society where it seems like everything has to be politically correct, that just isn’t the case.

While you don’t intend to harm or offend anyone with your opinion, others might react differently to it. It’s the same way that it upsets you when others counter your opinion by stating theirs. While they may or may not have intentionally meant to offend you, it affected you anyway. Granted, if they attack you because of your religion, then their intent is obvious, but the point I am trying to make is that whether we like it or not, our opinions affect everyone around us.

It’s great that you personally believe that people are not any more sinful just because of their sexual orientation, but stating your opinion out loud might not be the best idea because people can easily misinterpret it. I’m assuming that most of your peers know that you are Catholic, and unfortunately, that alone introduces bias to their opinion of you, especially when it comes to this issue. Also, considering the fact that most of our peers tend to be on the liberal end of the spectrum and your opinion doesn’t necessarily align with theirs, and you’re an open target.

I’m not saying that what they’re doing is right, because you deserve the right to voice your opinions and be respected just as much as everyone else.

If you don’t want to deal with people who disagree, it’s best to just keep your opinions to yourself and this is one of those cases because no matter what you do, someone out there will openly disagree with you.

If you are willing to face the objections of others, you could just tell your peers how you really feel and that they should respect your opinion as well, but be prepared for a negative reaction.

This is a very sensitive topic for many people, so you should also try to be as sensitive to the beliefs and thoughts of others as you would like them to be to you. Whether they live up to this “golden rule” of treating others with kindness and respect is up to them, but you still control you.

Sincerely,

Jethro