The NFL? Egotistical.

Ray Rice’s actions? Menacing.

Janay Rice? Doesn’t know her self worth.

I was raised in an environment that screamed ‘domestic abuse is never, under any circumstances, acceptable.’ From youth, we are taught that a female should not hit a male, and a male definitely should not hit a female, because that is abuse.

I was taught that abuse is a punishable and disgraceful act; I find it disgusting the NFL doesn’t seem to promote this belief unless the abuse becomes publicized. The NFL is obsessed with its appearance and reputation. When the first video surfaced of Ray Rice dragging then-fiancée unconscious Janay Palmer out of an elevator the League, knowing the domestic abuse charges brought against Rice, decided only to suspend him from two games.

Now that the full elevator footage of the assault has surfaced and Rice has received exponential amounts of criticism, hate, and disapproval from the public, the NFL has decided to terminate his contract and suspend him indefinitely. A phenomenal decision, that has come extremely too late. The NFL should have initially enforced that punishment and they didn’t so it makes no sense to do so now months after the assault.

The League is concerned with money not morality. The NFL has only terminated and suspended Rice to appear “good”, to appear as if they don’t support abusers, or condone abuse, but in reality they do.

Ray Rice has been painted as both a victim and a monster. The media has tried to justify his actions by reporting on death within his family when he was younger, football, and pressure being the root of his anger. Anger is understandable; abuse is not. We all get angry and when we get so angry that we cannot control ourselves, we ask for help. Rice did not ask. He took his anger and made it about power. And when he did decide to get counseling, it was much too late. We must feel the repercussions of our actions. Now he is being punished, and in all honesty I believe suspension from the NFL is what he deserves. No man who is cowardly enough to hit a woman deserves to be in the spotlight. It promotes the wrong message to society.

In no way, shape, or form was it justified or acceptable for Janay Rice to hit Ray Rice, because I do not believe in that double standard but growing up, I struggled watching female relatives near to me deal with abuse. So I do find it heartbreaking to know that Janay Rice has decided to ‘stay’, but not in any way is it surprising.

Many women struggle with insecurity. Many times the abused stay because they believe they are nothing without their abuser. Or maybe it will be too difficult to leave and begin again. Or maybe they’re “in love” and that “love” fills a void inside left by something or someone else. Whatever the reason may be abused women and men alike must educate themselves and learn their self-worth because we are all worth more than being hit. And hitting can escalate quickly.

Janay Rice has received an incredible amount of backlash for staying with her then-fiancée and now husband, after being beaten and dragged by him. Everyone has been so quick to judge her, call her “stupid”. Everyone has been quick to claim they would have left. Everyone has been so quick to voice their opinion, and though I do not agree with her decision to stay, I cannot judge her for I do not know what it is to be in her position. But I do hope for her because the cycle of abuse is not easily broken.