Paying for Dates

Before the 21st century it was common for men to “wear the pants” in the relationship and hold most of the financial responsibility. Now that relationship norms are changing and non-heterosexual couples are gaining more representation, it has become more complicated on who should pay for dates.

When the check comes during the first date and both hands awkwardly reach towards the piece of paper to see what damage the meal has done, the couple has to decide on who is going to pay for what. When being asked on the first date, the person who does the asking is assumed to be the personĀ  paying for the date, but what about after the first date when you’re well into the relationship? Who pays then?

It is important that couples communicate when it comes to paying for anything, that they know their boundaries and what they are willing to allow. Relationships are about compromise and communication so when it comes to paying for dates, communication is very important.

Depending solely on one person to pay for the date constantly, I believe is unfair because it’s almost as if the financial responsibility is put onto one person. Sometimes the other person chooses to pick up the tab, but the other person has to be cautious of that because the person may try to use that as a way to control them. The person constantly picking up the tab may think that since they are paying for the date, they deserve to be payed back another way and that’s not okay.

When it comes to paying for dates well into the relationship, the couple should try to alternate who pays and when one party doesn’t have the money to pay, they pay for what they can. If money continues to be an issue there are always free dates that you can go on, for example museums, strolls the near downtown area, or strolls in the park. The important thing is to make sure you communicate when it comes to dates and money.