Dear Jethro,

So basically, I have liked some of the guys over the years at our school but I am not allowed to date. What do you think I should do? The thing is, I am conflicted because my parents have done a lot for me and if I do date someone, then I feel like I will disappoint them and repay them back in a bad way. I also feel like it would be too difficult and stressful to hide it from them if I ever chose to do so. Please give me advice.

-Conflicted and Controlled

Dear Conflicted and Controlled,

Coming from a similar background, I understand your struggle. My parents have done a lot for me over the years and I appreciate everything they do, and the least I can do to pay them back is show them some obedience, especially when it comes to the tricky topic of dating. In your situation, you’ve felt attraction for some guys, and that’s perfectly normal. When you do that, you are not disobeying your parents in any way. However, if you were to pursue one of them and give in to your feelings, then you would start crossing the line. The question you have to ask yourself is: Is it worth it to go after my own desires against my parents’ will? Since you are in high school, you are getting closer to the age where you will become independent and be responsible for your own choices. You know yourself better than anyone else, and if you believe that you are ready to enter a relationship, then that’s a choice that you will have to make for yourself. If you decide to go this route, but are still bearing your parents’ wishes in mind, then set aside time to talk to them about this issue. If anything, they will appreciate your honesty. Ultimately, the decision is up to you, and I wish you the best with whatever you decide.

Sincerely,

Jethro