With February being a month filled with love and romance, relationships become more conspicuous than ever. It is important that people don’t ignore red flags while in a relationship. These red flags may lead to a toxic relationship.

1) Controlling Behavior 

Some people may think it’s cute when their significant other asks them “Where are you going wearing that to?” or “You can’t be their friend anymore.” They might interpret it as a sign of caring or their love for them, but really it is a sign of controlling behavior. A relationship is a partnership, not a dictatorship. When your boyfriend/girlfriend tries to control you, it may be a way for them to show dominance in the relationship. If you notice that your boyfriend/girlfriend shows controlling behavior, bring it to their attention and if the behavior persists, then maybe that’s not the person for you.

2) Lack of Trust 

If your boyfriend/girlfriend feels the need to snoop through your phone and have your social media accounts to check in on what you are doing, or to find untrustworthy behavior, they may be a lack of trust in your relationship. In some cases a person does find information that may hint that their partner is cheating on them or breaking their trust, but often people get into relationships with people they don’t fully trust in the first place. If your partner’s behavior causes you to sneak around them and snoop, you need to communicate with your partner about your concerns and act accordingly.

3) Obsessive Behavior 

In the beginning when your boyfriend/girlfriend wants to know what your doing and check up on you they may be trying to show you that they care about you, but constantly wanting to be around you and not allowing you to be an individual shows obsessive behavior. When your boyfriend/girlfriend is obsessed with you, you often feel guilty for not reciprocating the feeling.

4) Jealous

If your boyfriend/girlfriend tries to keep you from hanging out with your friends or getting upset that you have friends of the opposite sex it is sometimes caused by jealousy. If you feel forced to change your friend groups or not hang out with anyone at all just to make your boyfriend/girlfriend feel more comfortable, you should try compromising or getting to the root of the problem.

5) Failure to Communicate 

I’m sure you’ve heard the saying “communication is the key” and, though it might be cliche, communication really is one of those things that can make or break a relationship. When your boyfriend/girlfriend shuts down or fails to communicate with you, it puts a strain on the relationship. If your partner can’t have a simple conversation without raising their voice or shuts down before hearing your viewpoint, you may want to rethink the relationship.

6) Stuck on their ex

If your boyfriend/girlfriend or whoever you may be interested in is still hung up on their ex and compares you to their ex, this may mean that they have unresolved feelings. Being compared to your boyfriend/girlfriend’s ex is isn’t fair because you may feel like your boyfriend/girlfriend won’t see your full potential because they are so stuck in their past.

7) Moving too fast

Whenever we get into a relationship we start off super happy, but the new relationship should proceed at a good pace that both parties agree on. When you rush a relationship you often realize that you missed some really important details and character traits of that person that now bother you. Speeding through a relationship also force one person in the relationship to keep up because they don’t want to hurt their boyfriend/girlfriend’s feelings or don’t want them to get the wrong idea.

8) Abuse 

Some people may not know that there are different types of abuse in  an relationship.

Physical Abuse: any physically aggressive behavior, indirect physically harmful behavior, or threat of physical abuse. Examples include hitting, and throwing objects in anger during arguments.

Sexual Abuse: using sex in an exploitative fashion or forcing sex onto another person. Examples include making fun of someone’s sexuality or body, exploiting someone who isn’t equipped to properly consent to sexual activity because they are too old, intoxicated, or afraid (side note: consent to engage in past sexual activity does not imply consent in the future); and using force or guilt to manipulate someone into sexual activities.

Emotional Abuse: behavior that exploits another’s vulnerability, insecurity, or character. Examples include public humiliation, threatening to cause self-harm as bait, and using actions or statements to attack someone’s self-worth with the intention to humiliate them.

If you are in an abusive relationship, get help immediately. Tell a trusted adult. Call 1800-799-SAFE (7233) for The National Domestic Violence Hotline (www.thehotline.org). Nothing justifies abuse.